Head case

I ran a lackluster 5K today results-wise, but it's one I've done every year since 2008 and it's kind of become a tradition for my husband and me, and it's a lot of fun, regardless of the time. It was already in the mid-80s and humid as all get out at start time, and it's hilly, and I can think of a million excuses for why it was about a minute slower than what I thought I was capable of at this point in my training. But, the only person who really cares is me, and it's time to get over it and move on. Besides, I'm not training for a 5K...I'm training for the Detroit Marathon and I have a lot of work to do.

Anyway, I was exchanging texts with my coach about it afterward and lamented about how it's not as easy as it used to be -- it being running the times I was running about 6-7 years ago, and even further back, when I ran with abandon and no concept of limits. His response: If you want it, get after it.

I'll tell you what: that statement slapped me upside the head. My head has become my worst enemy in recent years, after injuries and challenges that have sometimes seemed like they're reversing my progress. And most of the time, where I fall short is when I have the opportunity to make a choice about truly "getting after it." I've eased up on workouts at paces I didn't think I could handle without even giving them a chance, and I've cut the number of reps short for fear of injury; I've raced and stayed in "places" I thought I belonged because I lacked the confidence to maybe go around someone I'd gotten used to finishing behind.

Injuries and a couple of "down" years can really mess with your confidence and create doubt. My best times came when I didn't think about times, paces or places and just ran hard. It's so simple but I think the biggest challenge for me has been getting over the initial disappoint and realization that I'm not there anymore at this moment. I think I've gotten too caught up in focusing on that, though, and not just forging ahead 100 percent toward a goal really getting after what I want.

It's high time I stop doubting and start dreaming again and not thinking, but just doing.