I ran a lackluster 5K today results-wise, but it's one I've done every year since 2008 and it's kind of become a tradition for my husband and me, and it's a lot of fun, regardless of the time. It was already in the mid-80s and humid as all get out at start time, and it's hilly, and I can think of a million excuses for why it was about a minute slower than what I thought I was capable of at this point in my training. But, the only person who really cares is me, and it's time to get over it and move on. Besides, I'm not training for a 5K...I'm training for the Detroit Marathon and I have a lot of work to do.
Anyway, I was exchanging texts with my coach about it afterward and lamented about how it's not as easy as it used to be -- it being running the times I was running about 6-7 years ago, and even further back, when I ran with abandon and no concept of limits. His response: If you want it, get after it.
I'll tell you what: that statement slapped me upside the head. My head has become my worst enemy in recent years, after injuries and challenges that have sometimes seemed like they're reversing my progress. And most of the time, where I fall short is when I have the opportunity to make a choice about truly "getting after it." I've eased up on workouts at paces I didn't think I could handle without even giving them a chance, and I've cut the number of reps short for fear of injury; I've raced and stayed in "places" I thought I belonged because I lacked the confidence to maybe go around someone I'd gotten used to finishing behind.
Injuries and a couple of "down" years can really mess with your confidence and create doubt. My best times came when I didn't think about times, paces or places and just ran hard. It's so simple but I think the biggest challenge for me has been getting over the initial disappoint and realization that I'm not there anymore at this moment. I think I've gotten too caught up in focusing on that, though, and not just forging ahead 100 percent toward a goal really getting after what I want.
It's high time I stop doubting and start dreaming again and not thinking, but just doing.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
New Beginnings
Wooo-eeee...it has been a LONG time since I updated this! So, what have I been up to...hmm. Not much. Well, actually, I've run a couple marathons since I last updated this, but not as many as planned. Had a massive elbow injury in 2009 that required surgery. Had a couple of stress fractures, got mono, couple other setbacks...that's it on the injury front! Now for the good stuff!
I got married earlier in the summer -- DEFINITELY a highlight of my life, as it should be. Life's been chugging along real well over the past five years for sure, since I last updated this. On the running front, I recently took a chance on an opportunity I would have never imagined I'd have just a few months ago. I now run for the Oiselle Volee team, a group of women across the country representing Oiselle, my favorite women's running clothing company and all that it stands for. Just check out the team manifesto. I am so honored and excited to be among those chosen to help represent Oiselle and carry out its values.
I'll be honest -- my running has been very up and down since 2007 and I've wrestled with the question, why do I run? As mentioned in earlier entries, I had a pretty major injury in 2007 that was a turning point for my life. Prior to the injury and the very long layoff that followed it, distance running came pretty easy. I put in the work, and the improvements followed like a perfect trajectory. I qualified for Boston on my second try. I chopped off chunks of time and, frankly, took it for granted.
Unfortuantely, I also took my health for granted, and didn't treat my body well. I wasn't kind to it and continued to push it despite nagging injuries and a tank always close to "E." When I got injured, I had to re-evaluate everything, and I've been working on this transformation ever since.
Today, I don't run for PRs that are "just around the corner." I have hopes that I can get back to PR shape someday, but it's no longer with the "at all costs" mentality. I sacrificed a lot back then and lived a life always teetering out of balance. I'm a happier person now, and while my most recent marathon was about 31 minutes slower than my PR, it was among my most joyful -- and the way I plan to continue to run. I now run for health, camraderie and because I simply can't imagine not doing it. Nothing beats the feeling of pushing yourself just a little more than you thought you could -- no matter how fast or slow it is in relation to where you may have once been.
During one of my injury layoffs, I remember saying, "I'll never complain or take a run for granted again." I can't say I've held true to this, but I'm a lot more cognizant of it these days, and thankful! I can't wait to carry this out as part of the Oiselle team. I'm thankful for the past, but looking to the future, and so glad I get to take flight with the rest of the birds!
I got married earlier in the summer -- DEFINITELY a highlight of my life, as it should be. Life's been chugging along real well over the past five years for sure, since I last updated this. On the running front, I recently took a chance on an opportunity I would have never imagined I'd have just a few months ago. I now run for the Oiselle Volee team, a group of women across the country representing Oiselle, my favorite women's running clothing company and all that it stands for. Just check out the team manifesto. I am so honored and excited to be among those chosen to help represent Oiselle and carry out its values.
I'll be honest -- my running has been very up and down since 2007 and I've wrestled with the question, why do I run? As mentioned in earlier entries, I had a pretty major injury in 2007 that was a turning point for my life. Prior to the injury and the very long layoff that followed it, distance running came pretty easy. I put in the work, and the improvements followed like a perfect trajectory. I qualified for Boston on my second try. I chopped off chunks of time and, frankly, took it for granted.
Unfortuantely, I also took my health for granted, and didn't treat my body well. I wasn't kind to it and continued to push it despite nagging injuries and a tank always close to "E." When I got injured, I had to re-evaluate everything, and I've been working on this transformation ever since.
Today, I don't run for PRs that are "just around the corner." I have hopes that I can get back to PR shape someday, but it's no longer with the "at all costs" mentality. I sacrificed a lot back then and lived a life always teetering out of balance. I'm a happier person now, and while my most recent marathon was about 31 minutes slower than my PR, it was among my most joyful -- and the way I plan to continue to run. I now run for health, camraderie and because I simply can't imagine not doing it. Nothing beats the feeling of pushing yourself just a little more than you thought you could -- no matter how fast or slow it is in relation to where you may have once been.
During one of my injury layoffs, I remember saying, "I'll never complain or take a run for granted again." I can't say I've held true to this, but I'm a lot more cognizant of it these days, and thankful! I can't wait to carry this out as part of the Oiselle team. I'm thankful for the past, but looking to the future, and so glad I get to take flight with the rest of the birds!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Back on the horse
Less than a month into the whole blogging thing and already I'm behind schedule! Anyway, I think I last left off describing the beginning of a game-changing injury for me in June 2007. I ruptured my posterior tibial tendon and ended up having the tendon replaced and my calf also operated on to keep the injury from happening again. I had what's called a gastrocnemius slide, in addition to the tendon surgery, in order to lengthen my chronically tight calf, which led to an abnormal amount of strain on the tendon that eventually resulted in a rupture. That injury had me out from June to December 2007.
Coming back was hard because of my new biomechanics and basically a new calf that needed to get strong again. I gradually built back up, though, and did a couple of 5Ks. I was signed up to run the Philadelphia Half Marathon this November, but some weird calf pain curtailed my plans. One doctor though it was popliteal artery entrapment; another thought it was compartment syndrome. Seven appointments and six weeks later, I had a slew of negative tests and orders from a doctor to return to running. It was weird -- I'm a classic overdoer, so docs usually tell me to stop running through pain. This doctor, though, wanted me to see if I could trigger the compartment syndrome symptoms again, at which point he'd then have me come back in for the testing and possibly eventually surgery.
Well, three weeks later and I'm back at it, thankfully! I have no immediate goals at this point yet other than to get the mileage back up. I feel slightly foolish after all those doctor visits and the runaround I got; was it just an overreaction? I was in a lot of discomfort, that I know. But I'm glad to be back at it again!
Here's how last week looked (Christmas week):
M/12-22: 52 minutes (5 below in Chicago -- Brr!)
T/12-23: 47 minutes
W/12-24: 32 minutes (back in MN; Lake Phalen + side loops)
Th/12-25: 31 minutes (same as yesterday)
F/12-26: 49 minutes (Summit/St. Claire loop)
Sa/12-27: 50 minutes (deceiving; run was broken up by walking due to very icy conditions on what seemed to be every sidewalk)
Su/12-28: 38 minutes (River/52 bridge)
Total for week: About 37 miles or so
So far, the week is off to a pretty basic start. I didn't have to work today but went to the gym early. My chest hurt during yesterday's run; Derek suggested maybe they hurt after running several days in very cold weather that I wasn't used to running in since I was off for six weeks. Taking this into account and the fact that I seem to have caught a cold led me to try the treadmill. Frankly, I wasn't too motivated and was feeling pretty congested and cruddy, so I called it a day after three miles. Better than nothin', I suppose!
Coming back was hard because of my new biomechanics and basically a new calf that needed to get strong again. I gradually built back up, though, and did a couple of 5Ks. I was signed up to run the Philadelphia Half Marathon this November, but some weird calf pain curtailed my plans. One doctor though it was popliteal artery entrapment; another thought it was compartment syndrome. Seven appointments and six weeks later, I had a slew of negative tests and orders from a doctor to return to running. It was weird -- I'm a classic overdoer, so docs usually tell me to stop running through pain. This doctor, though, wanted me to see if I could trigger the compartment syndrome symptoms again, at which point he'd then have me come back in for the testing and possibly eventually surgery.
Well, three weeks later and I'm back at it, thankfully! I have no immediate goals at this point yet other than to get the mileage back up. I feel slightly foolish after all those doctor visits and the runaround I got; was it just an overreaction? I was in a lot of discomfort, that I know. But I'm glad to be back at it again!
Here's how last week looked (Christmas week):
M/12-22: 52 minutes (5 below in Chicago -- Brr!)
T/12-23: 47 minutes
W/12-24: 32 minutes (back in MN; Lake Phalen + side loops)
Th/12-25: 31 minutes (same as yesterday)
F/12-26: 49 minutes (Summit/St. Claire loop)
Sa/12-27: 50 minutes (deceiving; run was broken up by walking due to very icy conditions on what seemed to be every sidewalk)
Su/12-28: 38 minutes (River/52 bridge)
Total for week: About 37 miles or so
So far, the week is off to a pretty basic start. I didn't have to work today but went to the gym early. My chest hurt during yesterday's run; Derek suggested maybe they hurt after running several days in very cold weather that I wasn't used to running in since I was off for six weeks. Taking this into account and the fact that I seem to have caught a cold led me to try the treadmill. Frankly, I wasn't too motivated and was feeling pretty congested and cruddy, so I called it a day after three miles. Better than nothin', I suppose!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Beginning
Here goes...
This marks the first post of my running blog. I have another blog that I've contributed to for more than a year now. This blog, however, has been on my mind for even longer than that. But I've always been able to talk myself out of it, until now...
So why a running blog? Good question, especially since I'm hardly running right now. I hardly have in six weeks and doing so in the immediate future (at least) seems, well, pretty questionable...or, dare I say it, doubtful. I've been a runner since I was 14 years old, so this is a frustrating time for me. I've had more frustrating times than this, but I think what would have made me feel better during those times was writing about it, which I didn't do. As a result, I'm going to try it again this time, and this time I'll do it differently. I'll chronicle my road through this frustration, and maybe come out feeling better.
Everyone says I'll come out of injury stronger. Having been through a fairly major injury a little more than a year ago, I know I physically did NOT come out of it stronger -- at least not at first. Maybe with more time, more miles, I'd be back to it. I do know that it didn't come easy again. I think mentally I had a better perspective on things, though, so my hope this time is to build on that and become mentally tougher when I take on training and going after goals again. If there's anything you can gain from injury, it's the sense that you were able to go through the low lows and still work your way back to your fightin' shape, so nothing's impossible. I can't wait 'till I can work my way back.
Let me take a step back, though, and summarize where I've come from. I look at my running in phases.
High school: sprinting/middle distance; one of many activities that I enjoyed (along with dance, gymnastics, music). I took part in track and cross country, but track was my favorite. I especially loved my lead-off position on my school's 4X400M relay team.
College: middle distance/first tastes of long distance; a safe haven among the trials and tribulations and drama that accompany the years between being 18 and 22. I learned what it felt like to run so hard you blacked out (the only way I'd lie on the ground of a public restroom) and learned what it meant to commit to something and follow through on a goal, through good times and bad. It was also my first time being injured and being forced to take a substantial break, thanks to first plantar fasciitis and then a stress fracture in my metatarsal. And with injury comes cross training... or a necessary evil, as I viewed it.
Post-college: Post-college running gets complicated when I try to summarize it or pick out any overarching theme. I ran my first marathon in the fall of 2002, five months after graduation. It was an awful experience when you look at how I physically felt... When I was done, I can remember feeling a sense of "great, she's gotten it out of her system; maybe now she'll stop," from others in my life. But no...I wanted to do it bigger, better, faster, and I couldn't wait to get another shot at it.
Eight months later, better prepared and ready to right a wrong, as I saw it, I ran a 22 minute PR, qualified for Boston, and catapulted myself into a new obsession. I had a great group of training partners, I'd just obliterated my PR, and, as I saw it, if I just committed myself like I had the previous go 'round, maybe I'd make the same leaps and bounds the next time around, and then the next...it was almost overwhelming to think about what was possible, it was just so exciting.
If only it were that easy!
In between qualifying and running Boston, I ran a sub-par NY marathon. Just a fluke, in my optimistic mind. I bounced back and began training for Boston under the guidance of a coach and with the zeal of an eager artist in front of a blank canvas. Boston 2004, unfortunately, was 85 degrees and sunny, so slower than I'd hoped, but an absolute blast. I continued to ride the high through a PR two months later in my fifth marathon, followed by my sixth -- another PR race -- four months later.
That spring I ran Boston again, followed by Grandma's. I don't remember my times from either but do remember disappointment. My definition of success didn't match what I was running. I wasn't meeting my expectations, and something had to change.
I trained that summer under the guidance of a new coach, determined to continue on the trajectory I'd envisioned. Unfortunately, a freak injury one week before TCM 2005 knocked me out of the race. Two weeks later, feeling somewhat healed and as if I had all this fitness and nothing to do with it, I entered another marathon, ready to try it again, and experienced my first DNF. I was tired, and it was time for a break.
Spring 2006. Train, train, train....tired, more tired, exhausted. My times got slower, I got more frustrated. After about two months of that, I went to the doctor and learned I had mono and just like that, no spring marathon. I was devastated at first, having placed so much focus on what was becoming a tradition for me, but quickly got over it as I slept the days away.
Then, something strange and unexpected happened...as I recovered and regained my strength, I got faster. It was as if all the training finally caught up to me and started paying off again.
That summer, I trained harder than I had before. There's not much to say other than that I got myself to a point that left me hungry and excited about running. I think this interview sums up where I was pretty well. Who is that person?
A great fall led to an exciting spring, with lots of potential. I set off to break three hours at Boston, of all races. Yes, it may have been a bit aggressive to go for a PR on course like that, but I was fit, determined and ready to try. A lot of people remember Boston 2007 for the Nor'easter and remember it as having awful conditions. Not me. The weather was perfect for a Minnesotan who was coming off of months of cold winter training. What wasn't perfect was the situation with my upset stomach. Four pit stops or maybe five-- I can't even remember exactly -- and I missed my goal on what can easily be called a "characted building" day.
It's humbling to set off on such an aggressive goal and then have things rebel against you half way. I finished in something like 3:22, and I remember being disappointed but telling myself that if I could run that time sick, with multiple stops, no less, than I had to be happy. Just give me a good day, I thought...I've gotten myself to a new level.
Just give me a good day. Less than two months later, while running, I felt a pop around my ankle that exploded into pain that stretched down to my heel. I'll never forget that moment. It's also the moment where one phase ends, and another begins.
More tomorrow.
This marks the first post of my running blog. I have another blog that I've contributed to for more than a year now. This blog, however, has been on my mind for even longer than that. But I've always been able to talk myself out of it, until now...
So why a running blog? Good question, especially since I'm hardly running right now. I hardly have in six weeks and doing so in the immediate future (at least) seems, well, pretty questionable...or, dare I say it, doubtful. I've been a runner since I was 14 years old, so this is a frustrating time for me. I've had more frustrating times than this, but I think what would have made me feel better during those times was writing about it, which I didn't do. As a result, I'm going to try it again this time, and this time I'll do it differently. I'll chronicle my road through this frustration, and maybe come out feeling better.
Everyone says I'll come out of injury stronger. Having been through a fairly major injury a little more than a year ago, I know I physically did NOT come out of it stronger -- at least not at first. Maybe with more time, more miles, I'd be back to it. I do know that it didn't come easy again. I think mentally I had a better perspective on things, though, so my hope this time is to build on that and become mentally tougher when I take on training and going after goals again. If there's anything you can gain from injury, it's the sense that you were able to go through the low lows and still work your way back to your fightin' shape, so nothing's impossible. I can't wait 'till I can work my way back.
Let me take a step back, though, and summarize where I've come from. I look at my running in phases.
High school: sprinting/middle distance; one of many activities that I enjoyed (along with dance, gymnastics, music). I took part in track and cross country, but track was my favorite. I especially loved my lead-off position on my school's 4X400M relay team.
College: middle distance/first tastes of long distance; a safe haven among the trials and tribulations and drama that accompany the years between being 18 and 22. I learned what it felt like to run so hard you blacked out (the only way I'd lie on the ground of a public restroom) and learned what it meant to commit to something and follow through on a goal, through good times and bad. It was also my first time being injured and being forced to take a substantial break, thanks to first plantar fasciitis and then a stress fracture in my metatarsal. And with injury comes cross training... or a necessary evil, as I viewed it.
Post-college: Post-college running gets complicated when I try to summarize it or pick out any overarching theme. I ran my first marathon in the fall of 2002, five months after graduation. It was an awful experience when you look at how I physically felt... When I was done, I can remember feeling a sense of "great, she's gotten it out of her system; maybe now she'll stop," from others in my life. But no...I wanted to do it bigger, better, faster, and I couldn't wait to get another shot at it.
Eight months later, better prepared and ready to right a wrong, as I saw it, I ran a 22 minute PR, qualified for Boston, and catapulted myself into a new obsession. I had a great group of training partners, I'd just obliterated my PR, and, as I saw it, if I just committed myself like I had the previous go 'round, maybe I'd make the same leaps and bounds the next time around, and then the next...it was almost overwhelming to think about what was possible, it was just so exciting.
If only it were that easy!
In between qualifying and running Boston, I ran a sub-par NY marathon. Just a fluke, in my optimistic mind. I bounced back and began training for Boston under the guidance of a coach and with the zeal of an eager artist in front of a blank canvas. Boston 2004, unfortunately, was 85 degrees and sunny, so slower than I'd hoped, but an absolute blast. I continued to ride the high through a PR two months later in my fifth marathon, followed by my sixth -- another PR race -- four months later.
That spring I ran Boston again, followed by Grandma's. I don't remember my times from either but do remember disappointment. My definition of success didn't match what I was running. I wasn't meeting my expectations, and something had to change.
I trained that summer under the guidance of a new coach, determined to continue on the trajectory I'd envisioned. Unfortunately, a freak injury one week before TCM 2005 knocked me out of the race. Two weeks later, feeling somewhat healed and as if I had all this fitness and nothing to do with it, I entered another marathon, ready to try it again, and experienced my first DNF. I was tired, and it was time for a break.
Spring 2006. Train, train, train....tired, more tired, exhausted. My times got slower, I got more frustrated. After about two months of that, I went to the doctor and learned I had mono and just like that, no spring marathon. I was devastated at first, having placed so much focus on what was becoming a tradition for me, but quickly got over it as I slept the days away.
Then, something strange and unexpected happened...as I recovered and regained my strength, I got faster. It was as if all the training finally caught up to me and started paying off again.
That summer, I trained harder than I had before. There's not much to say other than that I got myself to a point that left me hungry and excited about running. I think this interview sums up where I was pretty well. Who is that person?
A great fall led to an exciting spring, with lots of potential. I set off to break three hours at Boston, of all races. Yes, it may have been a bit aggressive to go for a PR on course like that, but I was fit, determined and ready to try. A lot of people remember Boston 2007 for the Nor'easter and remember it as having awful conditions. Not me. The weather was perfect for a Minnesotan who was coming off of months of cold winter training. What wasn't perfect was the situation with my upset stomach. Four pit stops or maybe five-- I can't even remember exactly -- and I missed my goal on what can easily be called a "characted building" day.
It's humbling to set off on such an aggressive goal and then have things rebel against you half way. I finished in something like 3:22, and I remember being disappointed but telling myself that if I could run that time sick, with multiple stops, no less, than I had to be happy. Just give me a good day, I thought...I've gotten myself to a new level.
Just give me a good day. Less than two months later, while running, I felt a pop around my ankle that exploded into pain that stretched down to my heel. I'll never forget that moment. It's also the moment where one phase ends, and another begins.
More tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)