Remembering a Teacher

This is off topic from my standard running fare but a personal blog is as good as any place to share some thoughts and reflections after some recent news.

Let me set the stage. In college, I was a hot mess in many ways (the same could probably be said for my 20s in general, frankly). By the start of my sophomore year, I was at my third university (UW-Madison) and without a clue as to what to do with my life. After lacking any direction whatsoever for what seemed like forever, two beacons emerged to help me start to navigate through things: running and writing. And despite continued struggles, they remained constant sources of stability, hope and enjoyment for me throughout the duration of college.

Writing in particular led me to try some journalism classes, and before I knew it, I was majoring in journalism. It didn’t feel like typical “school” or leave me asking, “what’s the point?”  I devoured my classes and all the J-school offered. I even took on a part-time job affiliated with the J-school, just to learn and soak up more.

Central to all of this, of course, were my professors. Professor Baughman was among my favorite. His passion for the written word and the history of journalism were undeniable—and if you weren’t captivated by his lectures, you weren’t listening. He had a wit and sophistication about him that made his lessons so interesting and funny, and he was also incredibly friendly and clearly loved his students and what he did.

I took as many of his classes as I could and knew I had found my calling. I honestly don’t know where I would be or what I would be doing if I hadn’t found journalism, and his classes in particular. He made me want to be a better writer and to tell stories that mattered. He made me realize history is filled with lessons for the future.

As I neared the end of my senior year, I applied for jobs from coast to coast—and within both the news reporting and public relations industries, thanks to my completing both tracks within the J-school out of sheer paranoia about being able to find a job. Keep in mind it was also months after 9/11, and market prospects were questionable, to say the least. I desperately wanted to be the kind of journalist my schooling had trained me to be; the kind of writer my teachers like Professor Baughman had helped me realize I could be, and how I could bring light to important stories by simply putting pen to paper, so to speak.

The first job offer I received was from a PR agency, and nearly 14 years later, it’s still the organization I’m proud to call my employer. I didn’t become that breaking news reporter, and I’m not writing in-depth features to bring attention to an under represented issue or population like I had once imagined. I have, however, found a rewarding career related to my degree that enables me to tell stories — and, more importantly, I can point back to the lessons of Professor Baughman and confidently say I still carry them with me today.

Speaking of “today,” or the present in general — that leads to what drove me to write this post, which admittedly has become a bit rambling. On Friday, I happen to see via Twitter the announcement that Saturday, March 26 (the next day), would be Professor Baughman Day in Madison, in recognition of his contributions to his students and the university. Madison Mayor Paul Soglin issued the proclamation, noting that he had “committed his students to the legacy that ‘the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found,’ ” –the latter part of the statement being in reference to a quote on a plaque outside a university building, according to the Wisconsin State Journal.

It turned out Professor Baughman was in the hospital for a serious illness. Not knowing anything else, I had a brief moment of panic, stopped everything I was doing, and quickly typed up an email to him. I hadn’t seen him since 2002 and hundreds of students later, I’m sure he wouldn’t remember me (with maybe the only reason he would being my unusual maiden name). But I felt the need to let him know how much impact he had on my life, and how appreciative I was for what he had taught me. I also congratulated him on James Baughman day and let him know I would be observing and celebrating it from St. Paul.

Sadly, Professor Baughman passed away the next day (Saturday), and I don’t think he saw my email. The news hit me hard, and was a huge loss to the university and so many people whose lives he touched. I also am sorry for the legions of future students who won’t have the opportunity to learn from him. In an era of fragmented media outlets and what oftentimes seems a disdain for the past in order to keep things fresh and relevant, voices like Professor Baughman’s are so needed for the next generation of journalists, reminding us that the core fundamentals of good writing, and telling a good story — and ultimately shedding light on the truth—will never change.

After not thinking much about college or the lessons from it for so many years, I realized how important my teachers were in helping me get to where I am today—especially Professor Baughman. I am forever grateful.

R.I.P., professor.

Running Revisited: TC-10 Recap and Remembering Why I Do This

It's been a year since I updated this blog, and since this is a running blog, here's the quick rundown: I ran a bunch of 5Ks in my quest to continue racing and enjoying running -- while staying injury free. And it's worked pretty well! Life is pretty good and I've mostly stayed on the horse, so to speak. I'm very grateful for that.

So about those 5Ks...I haven't had a desire to run longer, really. Training for a 5K can be just as challenging as a marathon, in my opinion, since it's a different kind of hurting. It doesn't get the respect it deserves, but I've enjoyed it immensely. I still do long runs but there's plenty of faster stuff, too, and it just feels good. I've loved training for a race, running it and if it doesn't go well, hey! Try again next week. It satisfies that small desire in me to keep following structured training and doing something (un)comfortably challenging every now and then.

That leads up to yesterday, the TC 10 Mile -- my longest race in two years. My last race longer than 5K was the Detroit Marathon in 2013, and then I had foot surgery in 2014. Yesterday's race was the culmination of a FANTASTIC weekend that had other fun happenings. I'm now one of the Oiselle Volee team leaders, and with my co-leader Jana, planned a pre-race shakeout run and breakfast on Saturday before the race for Oiselle team members in town for the TCM events. I met so many new people and was blown away by the enthusiasm and support of our group. I've been a part of the Oiselle team for a little more than two years now and have always known this is a special group, and it's been so awesome as we add new people to see the support and friendships grow. I'll have to write separately about this some time and can't say enough about this group and how much it has rejuvenated my running. Thank you to all who came.

Back to the race: I had very modest expectations. I broke my 5Ks-only streak signing up for this because it is an EVENT. Twin Cities in Motion puts on a spectacular series of events on marathon weekend and I wanted to take part! So, I did more 10-mile-specific training to get ready, but that didn't mean too much to me in terms of my confidence. I have trained for other races and then executed really poorly, which typically means going out too fast and then dying a miserable death. There was a time a long time ago when I didn't do this and ran faster than I do now. But I'm trying to get past that and run for different reasons now, knowing that my PRs may be behind me and I have to find joy in other things if I want to continue this.

So, onto the race! Race morning was fantastic. I carpooled with my friends Nordica and Angie to the start, where we met up with Casey and Taylor to warm up. It was about 45 degrees--crisp, but AWESOME running weather. The mood was light and fun. My mindset was perfect.

Fast forward to the start.We saw Nicole, who was starting in the championship field, and all wished each other good luck before getting to our spots. I knew Angie, Nordica and Taylor would all be running faster (huge congrats to all three for PRing, by the way), so I tried to find a spot a little further back, where I subsequently ran into Oiselle teammate Lisa to my left and high school friends Sarah and Ian behind me. Slightly ahead to my left, I saw Jenny and Carrie and we all waved. Further down to my left, Jason (who was running the marathon) hopped up on a ledge to take pictures, and smiled and waved. THIS is what is awesome about our running community--the people! I felt surrounded by friends and excitement. It was wonderful.

Soon we were off. Now, my goal going in this race was to run around 75 minutes. I've done this race once before and it was unfortunately a miserable experience, though, so I was cautious in setting that goal. In 2013, when I last ran it, I went out too fast, and by mile 5, when you hit Summit Ave., I was TOAST. Thus, one of my goals for this year was to keep it controlled for the first half to avoid repeating that awful experience, and hopefully come close to my goal. Since I hadn't run a race longer than 5K in two years it was tough for me to imagine how I would feel.

I immediately took stock of things and was happy with how it felt. It felt faster than a training effort but it was a pace I knew I could build on, which was ideal since the race is really hilly in the first half. If you pace it well, you can pick things up in the second half to really take advantage of the downhill to the finish. I should note I didn't have a Garmin on; it's one of the big changes I've made to how I run races and it worked pretty well. I honestly don't know how I would have run if I had one on. I think I can be a bit of a head case when racing and all the feedback I seem to need is what my body tells me. Anyway, I went through the first mile in 7:31 (I took splits manually on my stopwatch) and was pleased.

The subsequent miles were fairly uneventful. I tried to keep my effort even and continued to take my mile splits. Focusing on effort seemed to work, and miles 2-7 were 7:14, 7:27, 7:11, 7:33, 7:36, 7:32. You can see where the hills were and while I would like to see those all closer to that 7:11 mile, I was pretty happy with how things were going; the other miles were much more in line with what I expected to run. 

Between miles 7 and 8, the course has a nice downhill into a fairly long flat stretch. It's here where I saw the TC Running Company cheer zone where Derek was spectating with Kurt, Adam, Kim, Chad and whole bunch of other people and HOLY HELL was it exciting. I could hear them (and the music) from several blocks away and felt my knees lift a little higher and my pace pick up a little. I yelled back at them when I ran by and Derek claims I did a double fist pump. I don't remember that but know I was excited to feel so good and see them all. A block or so later I passed the mile 8 marker in 7:09. Perhaps I should work on lifting my knees like that more often.

Between miles 8 and 9, there's another slight rise in the road and I was starting to get that sense of "just get this over with." I passed mile 9 in 7:28. Between miles 9 and 10, the course turns left and then after a few blocks it's a pretty long downhill into the finish, which can be pretty great if you're feeling good or pretty torturous if you're not, since you can see the finish for quite a while. I don't remember much at this point except for the thought that hey, this felt a lot better than the last time I ran it! My 10th mile clocked in at 7:07, and my official finish time was 1:13:49, which is 5 seconds faster than what I had on my watch.

After I finished I found Nordica, Angie, Casey and Nicole and soon learned they all ran PRs. Amazing! We had a celebratory beer (thank you Summit) from the beer truck and rehashed our races...and then hurried to run back to mile 24 to watch the marathon with the TC Running Company crew and my Oiselle friends who were also able to join. Cheering at mile 24 has become an annual event, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to run the marathon again because I love cheering with this crew so much. It was a great way to cap off a fun race morning and reminded me of everything I love about this sport: the people you meet along the way who are all trying to be the best version of themselves at that point in time. I don't know what's next, but I'll carry the joy and fun of this day with me for a long time.

I snagged the following pictures of our Saturday Oiselle meet up off Facebook...thanks to Melissa for the pre-shakeout run shot!

It's Good to Be Back.

Oh, hey. What, you don't remember me? It's been four months?

Four months since my last post! Basically, four months and boom, we're at the end of summer. Four months and I'm older...and wiser...and running! So how about a running update for the running blog?

People, let's be real. I've been injured a lot in the 20 years I've been running...because of both freak accidents and also my own bone-headed doing (over zealous training, running through small issues that eventually became big deals, etc.). And that's led to a lot of angst, heartache and cursing of this I-hate-this-stupid-sport-but-not-really-I-can't-quit-I-miss-it hobby that's really more of a lifestyle, in all honestly. But I've never felt so positive and clear-headed about the sport as I do now, and here I am, three and a half months back after 12 weeks out and a very slooooow build up.

Here's what the comeback has looked like. I started up at the end of May, with my first "run" consisting of 7 X 1 minute of running alternating with 3 minutes of walking. My husband and I went for a walk along the river to kick off this momentous occasion, but I honestly contemplated doing it in street clothes because it seemed like such a laughable thing. I put on my running clothes, however, and off we went...and later that night I felt like I had run 20 miles, as every single little tendon in my foot seemed to be whining at me, backed up by a chorus of groans from my quads and hips. And I hadn't been sitting around during my layoff, either! Running is no joke...welcome back!

The next month or so was a couple steps forward, a couple steps back. In the second week of June, I was up to 30 minute runs and on a business trip out for a run one morning when my calf pulled ON MY GOOD SIDE. The universe can be a cruel prankster...or you can have inbalances in your body. I'm going with a mix of both. This was followed by 10 more days off and another slow build back up once everything seemed better. 

My husband signed up for a 10K for the 4th of July, and one morning a week before, following the first run in weeks in which my calf didn't pull, I got a wild urge to sign up for the companion 5K, so I did. Now, this may seem like a mundane thing...and it is. But up until this point I had never run a 5K without having a solid base under me, along with months of workouts. As a mid-distance runner in high school and part of college, 5Ks were my entree into the world of road racing and for a large part of my running life, I only knew how to run them HARD and when you were in shape. Something made me super excited for this silly little 4th of July 5K, though...I hadn't run with a Garmin since January (hello running by time...still the best way to ease back into running) so I had no idea what pace I had been running. But I knew it would probably be my slowest ever, and I was okay with that. Not having a whole lot of running fitness under my belt made it exciting to me to get a TRUE sense of where I was. Only goal: hopefully run it all!

With that goal in mind, the 5K was a great success. I didn't walk, and ran one of my slowest ever -- second only to the 5K I ran when I had mono...and more than 4 minutes of my PR. But it was SO. MUCH. FUN. No Garmin, no expectations and the feeling of pushing myself like that was something I hadn't felt in a very long time. My recovery was officially in motion.

About six weeks later, I was up to 10 miles for my long run (estimated, as I was still running on time and hadn't turned on the Garmin yet) and actually running with people--people I had run with pre-injury who I had so longed to get back to running with, including my good buddy Nordica (the best! Hi Nordica!). And I hit this milestone right around the time I was fortunate enough to get to go to Bend, Ore. for a running camp with my fellow Oiselle ambassadors -- check out the gorgeous photo collage here. It came just at the right time. Throughout the 12 weeks post-surgery, being ready for camp was what I was really concerned about when it came to getting back to running. I had paid for my trip, and I really wanted to be able to take part in everything at camp and not be slowed by fitness or any lingering pain. 

Fortunately, I timed my build back just right and everything was fine. Camp was just the type of experience I needed in my running life at that point...for four days, we were treated to motivational talks by wonderful runners, expert-led discussions, miles of beautiful trails and lots of fun bonding time with a really inspiring group of women from all walks of life I quickly came to know and love. Lauren Fleshman gave a goal-setting talk when afternoon, and I found myself all choked up at the notion of setting meaningful goals for you and not setting goals based on what others do or believe is important. Here I was, in a ballroom listening to a runner I've been a fan of for 10 years and at a point in my running life where my PRs are eight years old and I'm again coming back from injury. I've already touched on this before, but I've had to find motivation and enjoyment elsewhere in running as I'm so far off my PR times for the time being and realize I may never surpass them. It was just what I needed to hear, though, as I try and look for other ways to feel accomplishment and joy from running.

Later that night, we actually ran a 5K sponsored by a local brewery. And wouldn't you know, I ran a minute faster than I had on the 4th of July and was elated. I didn't give much thought to being three minutes off my PR and was genuinely excited and proud for once. I'm still working on this mind shift, but it was a good step.

I'm now a month past my time in Bend, and I've just started doing workouts from my old friend who's now helped my running for 10 years. He's seen a lot and I'm thankful he's still willing to help me out when I'm not as fast as I once was but still want to try my best and see how hard I can push myself. My long runs have topped 13 miles now for the past two weeks and I can say I haven't felt this good in at least two years, but that's largely due to the fact that I was running on one foot for so long. Two feet can help a lot in running! I feel the desire to train toward a race and I'm starting to think long term again. It's fun, and I'm loving the feeling of pushing myself again and meeting up with friends. I'm not sure what's next, but it's good to be back.

Oh So Close

Hello! Since I last blogged about how to survive an injury (when I was smack dab in the middle of it), I've gone from a crutching, booted-up injured runner to a bootless, WALKING runner. Progress! And now, here I sit, 10 weeks past surgery and two weeks from the official, okay-to-give-it-a-go-with-running turning point in my recovery. Eeeee!

I'll recap where I'm at, where I've been and what I'm looking toward. I'm excited but I'd like to think I'm also realistic. Ten weeks is a long time away from running alone, and you lose fitness. Throw in the fact that I have hardware in my foot now, which -- by the way -- got extremely weak when it was in the boot, and I know my first return to running will be short, sweet, cautious and uncomfortable. But I've been doing what I can to set myself up for success, including physical therapy twice a week plus strength exercises at home to transform my foot from flopping around like a dead fish when I walk, to actually providing support and stability to my body to propel me forward.

I've mainly stuck to the bike for cross training but added more elliptical in the past few weeks as my foot got stronger. And yes, I'm very sore from it and it's humbling, but oh-so-good. I also got a Groupon for a month of unlimited yoga at Core Power Yoga here in the cities and have been hitting up yoga sculpt classes a couple times a week to address all those weaknesses I tend to ignore when I'm in the thick of training (bad, I know). I've remained active and have actually really enjoyed it. I know running will still be hard and feel foreign once I return, but I'll embrace the natural pain of getting back into it and know I'm not injured anymore!

Soon I'll hopefully be able to talk about how a run felt, as opposed to how I imagine it will feel. And that is so, so exciting.

An Update & Tips for Surviving Injury -- Surprise! Not Running Won't Kill Ya!

Greetings from the healing front! Since I last wrote, it's been a good almost three weeks of vacationing, healing and getting back into the swing of a painkiller and cast-free life following the initial first couple weeks of post-surgery haze. A quick recap...

Shortly after my last post, I drove 20 hours with my husband to the Florida panhandle for his spring break (teacher). This turned out to not only be a great R&R opportunity, but also a remarkable way to kick-start the next phase of my healing, since I had just had my cast removed. The highlights: Good eats and lots of sun. Our days were simple, as they usually are...a morning run (for him) and a trip to a cute little beachside fitness center (for me) where I purchased a three-day pass. This hadn't been anything I had planned for or anticipated...my husband is training for Boston and logging big miles and I figured I'd have a couple hours each morning to lounge around and do whatever. But when I saw the opportunity to work out in a nice little gym, I figured I'd kick-start my cross training in earnest when Derek was out running. It worked out great...I got to bike while catching up on trashy reality t.v. 

We then spent our afternoons at the beach, where I soaked up some bone-healing vitamin D. I was the only person on the beach with crutches and wearing a boot (from what I can tell), and I have a sweet tan line to show for it, but it was super relaxing and enjoyable. I slept and read Unbroken (read it!). Wonderful. 

That brings me to today...I've got a week of normal, in-office working under my belt (I'd mostly worked from home for the couple weeks following surgery) and I'm back in a pretty decent routine. Most notably, I'm no longer using the crutches much around the house, and when I have the boot off for showering or bed, I've actually been able to walk without it and not feel any pain -- though I've been keeping the weight on the outside of my foot and not pushing much off the ball, since I don't have the okay to do that yet and I am ALL ABOUT doing this recovery right. As for cross training, I've got that deal through my insurance where I have to go to the gym a certain number of times a month to get a discount, so it's kept me going. I've been riding the bike -- upright and recumbent -- and working the mind-numbing arm bike every now and then. The routine of going to the gym got me thinking about what gets me there and what keeps me motivated and sane while dealing with this long recovery. And with that, here's my running list of tips and tricks for dealing with injury and cross training...I reserve the right to edit and add to these as I think of them...

1. Cherish the gift of time. Good news! Time heals...and time doesn't stop! Take comfort in knowing you'll eventually heal if you give it time. Now, in my case, I needed surgery because time wouldn't heal...nothing would without surgical intervention. But! Now that I've had surgery, time will heal! And with that...don't forget to take your time! I've had my share of races ruined by injuries that kept me from even starting. Several marathons, in fact. It sucks -- the time and financial investment is huge. But there really will always be another race, if you do the healing thing right and give it TIME. That actually leads to my next point...

2. When it comes to running, change your view from short- to long-term. I completely went against this in 2007 with my last major injury -- a ruptured posterior tibial tendon. I was coming off a great fall in 2006 and running the best times of my life and was training to break three hours in the marathon. Then, I developed bad tendonitis. I never fully committed to taking time off and was like a runaway train, on the cusp of meeting my goal and in a panic to keep training and racing to achieve it, running as if it was my last chance ever and just taking a half-assed approach to dealing with my nagging tendonitis that eventually came back to bite me way worse than I would have ever imagined. The ironic thing is, I truly never have run as well as I did then, but guess what? Much of it is due to injury derailment--including that major injury, which knocked me out completely for six months (zero running), followed by many more months of slowly coming back. Other things have popped up that have changed how I've trained and what I've achieved, but I can most definitely say that my short-term view on running and goals was a detriment to my health and running at the time. Fast forward to this most recent injury -- my lisfranc injury that led to surgery. When it became an issue, I immediately thought, what do I want out of running for the remainder of my life? I could deal with missing races and workouts and much of a racing season if it set me up to be able to run well into the latter years of my life. This is a lifelong thing for me, and so I had to commit to it as such. Don't shoot yourself in the foot (haha) to achieve some short-term goal or because you're afraid of taking a step back and losing fitness. Commit to what will keep you strong in the long term.

3. Running injured sucks. Be honest with yourself: if you're perpetually in pain and dealing with a chronic issue, how long are you willing to deal with it? When will it stop? The short-term disappointment of not being able to run is COMPLETELY worth it for healthy running later on. Trust me. And really, are you running to your full potential with that chronic pain? Probably not.

4. You don't have to lose ALL fitness and semblance of athleticism when injured. Yes, not running will make you lose running fitness. There's no getting around that. Even if you cross train perfectly and remain fit, nothing will totally be the perfect substitute, so just accept it. But if you had it once, you'll get it back eventually if you're willing to work for it again like you once were (and I bet you're willing!). We runners can be narrowly-focused on our running and all its various forms and poo-poo cross training (GUILTY AS CHARGED!). However, at the very least, it can be a nice outlet for energy in place of running, and you can even get a decent workout! My dear friend Nicole once gave me a really simple tip I've carried with me through many injuries as I try and navigate the maze of equipment at the gym: keep the resistance low and just focus on getting your heart rate high. This advice was actually passed along to her from a 2004 T&F Olympian who ran some great races off of running and cross training, so I paid attention. That goes for the elliptical, the stationary bike, the arm bike...you name it. Don't "mash gears," as the cyclists say, or throw yourself into the elliptical trying to move what feels like sumo wrestler resistance. Keep it low and aim for high intensity. I've been following this on the bike, the only thing I can really do, and have been pleasantly surprised by the sense of accomplishment I'm able to achieve given the effort required for some of the bike sessions I've done. Simply focusing on moving my legs with a high RPM has enabled me to get my heart rate in the 150-160 range. Of course it's not running, but if you're looking for a good workout, just focus on heart rate and I promise it will help fill the void at least a little!

Also, don't underestimate other things you'll have to do because of injury...for me, crutching around has actually proven to be a decent workout! A trip to the grocery store with my husband, for example, is like a trip to the weight room. 

5. Connect with others for support. My Oiselle teammates have been amazing sources of strength and support as I recover, as have my running friends who have checked in and simply helped keep me connected to that world I'm currently not "running" in. And, I'll be completely honest--being around others who don't run and aren't focused on anything related to running is also therapeutic and a good way to remind yourself that there is so much more to life, and this, too shall pass. 

6. Keep perspective. I will never short change the power of running and its ability to change lives, empower people, and transform relationships and how we see ourselves. BUT, life without it for a period of time in the name of healing is okay in the long run. It's temporary, and it's also a good time to take stock of the balance in your life. In the grand scheme of life, this will just be a small blip on the radar. In a month, six months or year, you probably will barely remember this time.

What am I missing? Stay healthy, friends!

Reality Bites (Ouch!)

First off, I hate that I have no running updates for this running blog. As I mentioned before, I'm hoping documenting my recovery from joint fusion surgery in my foot -- which I did to hopefully return to pain-free living and activities, including running -- will help keep me motivated and provide a good way to track my progress and hopefully not make too many mistakes. I've also never been good about cross training and know I better get used to it if I want to maintain any fitness during this layoff, so a blog should be an interesting way to see how things unfold. Anyway...

My big return to working from the office today instead of from home wasn't as magical as I thought, simply because it HURT. As I mentioned in the update at the bottom of my last post, my cast came off this morning and I went straight to work. Like a fool, I had this idea that the cast was the closing of a significant chapter and things would get easier. Unfortunately, they haven't. And me not being smart about this meant I brought a giant purse to work. Pro tip: Don't carry a big purse while on crutches. If it doesn't get tangled with your body and the crutch and cause you to feel like you're about to trip any moment, it will fall down to your elbow...and cause you to feel like you're about to trip any moment. Let's just say that I ditched the purse in my office drawer when I left at the end of the day and just put my wallet and phone in my laptop backpack.

I guess the bigger issue with today was I went with my natural tendency to PUSH PUSH PUSH and jumped back into a normal day. That included not having my foot elevated for the majority of the day (I finally broke down due to the pain at the end of the day and put my feet up on my desk while I read through some materials I had to review). I've had my foot elevated for the majority of the day for the past 12 days, so this was a bonehead move. I also tried doing a little walking on my heel without my crutches (going to the printer, going to the water cooler), which was a little too ambitious. The result: I left work a little early because I was in the most pain I've been in since I had surgery. The days immediately following surgery, when I had a giant foot with big swollen sausage toes, weren't even this bad! I had this idea this morning when I left for work that I'd even stop by the gym on my way home to do a little stationary biking. Nope. I came straight home, put my foot up and removed the air cast and my sock. My foot is more swollen than it was when I came out of my hard cast this morning, and I've got more bruising than I remember (including purple toes).

I clearly overdid it this morning and today was a huge reality check. This isn't going to be quick and easy. Of course it's not. I intellectually know that but my natural inclinations go against it and I don't make the best decisions when it comes to these things. I can't wait to return to running but I can't jeopardize my recovery by rushing it like I did. I'm going to have to re-evaluate my approach and take it even easier than I thought...

Any surgery recovery tips or experiences out there to make me feel better? Any recommendations for getting good cross training in when you're severely limited in what you can do?

Surgery Recovery Week 2: Coming Out Of The Haze

I'm finishing up week two of surgery recovery (Wednesday will be two weeks since the day) and am happy to say I've left the house twice during that time--once on Saturday and then this evening to go to the gym for the first time since the surgery (more on that later). Yes, I stayed inside for 10 straight days. Now, before you go thinking this is disgusting, let me describe the scenario: I was on a steady diet of percocet every 4-6 hours for several days and oxycontin every 12 hours. I'd say it wasn't until Sunday after my surgery I could eat at the table and stay awake more than an hour at a time. Drugs and surgery recovery are no joke!

Monday a week ago I "went back" to work, which meant I crutched over to the dining room table around 7:30 or 8:00 a.m., logged on to the network, IM and email, turned on my phone, propped up my big ol' casted foot and leg on a chair next to me and got to work until 5 or 6 p.m. It was tough in the first few days to keep up with my expected levels of productivity while fighting through the tremendous fog--I'm not going to lie! One day I was especially crabby and tired of the situation and ventured out to the back stoop of the house for the first time in a week. I sat there for five minutes, breathed in the fresh air and felt rejuvenated, but also like I had just slept through an entire week while the world moved on.

By Friday, as the pain pills were dwindling and the hours between dosages got longer, I not-so-coincidentally felt like I had my clarity back and actually could get into a work groove. And, I started to have that feeling of "AHHH, I just want to MOVE and get outside and be active." I consider that a good thing and totally normal that I made it that long before feeling that way. People had asked earlier how I was doing and how long before I could cross train or whatever, and honestly, the first several days post surgery I was so nauseous and drowsy, changing my clothes was enough "cardio." My surgeon had said two weeks after surgery, when I get my cast removed (which is tomorrow), I could start riding a stationary bike. Hooray.

But really, I've been looking at this as a two week break. As runners, we can be very disciplined and regimented--guilty as charged. So much so, in fact, that we often  don't consider a run a true workout or effort without hitting a certain number of miles. A long run might not be anything less than 90 minutes, for example, or a run might not be worthy of a mention unless it's at least five miles. At times in my life, I've been there. And I do think you have to be disciplined and regimented when going after specific goals. But this time has been good for me to just let go. Not let go in the sense that I completely fall off the wagon nutrition-wise, but honestly, a couple weeks of rest is okay -- especially after surgery. And it's been pretty nice!

This evening, though, I made my triumphant (okay, not quite) return to the gym. Because I'm still on crutches and going to the gym in the afternoon means having to park in the far corners of the lot and hike in, my husband was kind enough to take me there and drop me off at the door (nice!). He then went for a run and said he'd be back in about an hour. Knowing this, I had to figure out what in the world to do with myself. I can't exactly bike with this foot-to-top-of-my-calf cast on, nor can I do anything standing, obviously. My option: the devil exercise machine, the arm bike. Since it took some time for me to crutch in, go to the locker room and take the elevator up to the workout floor, I figured Derek would be back now in less than hour. So I sat and just pedaled with my arms. And pedaled. And holy hell, is that thing hard. Three minutes in I was searching for an exit and in my panic formed a plan: alternate directions every five minutes and hand positions after every set (forward and back). And, alternate hard and steady efforts every minute. I'll tell you this: It was boring as all get out.

One hour later (actually 15 seconds before I hit the hour mark), Derek strolled up and I was done! It was very convenient timing and I ended up on that thing much longer than I would have expected. I realized the downfall of this when I stood up to crutch away -- my arms! -- but all in all, it felt good to move and sweat a little. (Okay, that's not the first time I've sweat -- there have been mornings when I've felt the beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck as I crutched around trying to get ready for the day after Derek has left for the work...but whatever.)

Tomorrow, I have my first post-op check up and I am OH SO EXCITED at the prospect of hopefully getting my cast off. I believe I get to have my stitches removed, and in order to do that the cast has to come off, so let's hope it stays off! I've had an itch I've wanted to scratch for almost two weeks now...

UPDATE AS OF 3-10-14: Had my appointment and saw my foot for the first time since surgery. Not going to lie -- my vanity got the best of me and I was a little grossed out by not only my ugly, scarred up foot, but also HOW MUCH MY CALF SHRUNK. Ugh. Got the cast and stitches removed and graduated to a removable air cast, so...progress! But, I still have to use crutches because I'm only supposed to put weight on my heel (trust me, my foot has already told me when I'm not and it isn't happy when that happens). This made for a somewhat challenging walk into work...I had a backpack and a too-big purse and by the time I got to my desk, my foot was throbbing and I had broken a sweat. But, I know it will get better. I go back in four weeks when they'll take x-rays and I can hopefully graduate from the aircast and start bearing more weight. The PA said the surgery involved a bone graft and fusion so those bones still have a lot of healing to do.